“Dr.” Joe Maddon and the Legion of Doom!

By Jonathan Azares
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There, the end.

Let’s fast forward to this year’s abortion, the ALDS versus the Texas Rangers. I’m not taking anything away from the Texas Rangers who were proactive and went out and got a true big game ace Cliff Lee unlike some third rate, reactive, cowardly organization that dwells in the Tampa Bay area, but happens to play in St. Petersburg. Where to begin? How about Game two? James Shields who said, “It’s my time to shine.” Since when did garbage learn how to talk? As bad as James Shields is, I wonder whose stupid idea it was to have him start such an important game. However, I digress I think I’ve criticize Shields enough (see Vote NO on #33) so let’s get back to the other excrement that is Kelly Shoppach.

Here once again, it is not his fault he’s so bad it’s the manager’s fault for putting him in. I am particularly fond of the argument that Shoppach is better than John Jaso defensively behind the plate. Last time I looked over the events that transpired not only did Jaso have quality at bats and productive outs (which with the dreadful run support was really needed) he didn’t literally throw game five away when he tried picking off the portly Bengie Molina at third base allowing the dagger in the Ray’s season to cross home plate. Who gives cares if Jaso let’s a ball past him? It’s better than letting fly out into the outfield and at least Jaso can get some points on the board! Oh let’s not forget to put Rocco Baldeli in thus severing ties with Dioneer Navarro. My favorite classic Maddon move from the series is not utilizing Matt Joyce and Reid Brigniac (they’re the best clutch hitters!) in the lineup.

There is a reason why Joe Maddon has a World Series ring, and it’s not because of him it’s because of Mike Scioscia and the 2002 Angels. He really lacks the killer instinct to win. Yeah, it is important to have fun and have a good time, but deep down everybody wants to be a winner. Everyone wants that rare moment of glory when your years of hard work are finally validated. You can’t keep playing matchups. At best it’s a gimmick, a novelty and all novelties eventually run its course. Remember Rays fans that and the next time you think about defending him think of this image, think of who threw this error past Longoria and think of who let the guy who did it out on to the field.

Hey Joe Maddon loves math right, so how about a physics problem? What would you be if you were talented lineup attached to a crazy manager in a declining plane of payroll, wrapped helically around an plaid axis of insanity? Screwed, kind of like our hopes of ever hanging a World Series banner. Well, at least when they can see view theirs banner when they visit the Phillies, Yankees and Giants/Rangers stadium. Through it all though we have and are stuck with you until your contract expires and dear god possibly longer. You truly are the captain of chaos and it just so happens I have a first class ticket on this voyage of the damned.