Happy Thanksgiving!


Happy Thanksgiving! Today is a day to spend time with family, friends, and or celebrate one’s own existence and reasons for living. Whoever and however you’re spending your day today just be glad that you’re fortunate enough to live in a great country such as ours. If you’re reading this then I assume that you’re fortunate enough to have Internet access which is a luxurious comfort many only dream of having in countries around the world. That being said I’d like to say what I’m thankful for this baseball season.

First, off I’m thankful for Garza the Great who on July of this year let me know what it feels like to celebrate a no-hitter rather than cringe at witnessing one being thrown against us. Truly you made me forget momentarily about all those other god awful times the Rays got no-hit.  I’m also thankful for James Shields who exposed to the entire fan base what we knew all along, he hasn’t pitched a big game in his life and when under pressure he is a great game finisher and by that I mean he puts the team in a four-to-five run deficit during games (ALDS Game 2). Thank you David Price for being the ace of this staff you’re fastball demolished all those who opposed you and even though you couldn’t win game one or five (damn you Cliff Lee) rest assured karma avenged you in the World Series. Thank you, Wade Davis who along with Garza cleaned up Shield’s awful filth during game five of the ALDS. Thank you Jeff Niemann, my god you are one freakishly tall giant.

Thank you Jeremy Hellickson for being so freaking great at what you’re paid to do. You’re a fantastic pitcher and if ever you have to fight James Shields to the death for a job on the starting rotation. I would gladly take a bullet for you if it gave you a distraction and window to smash his head in with a baseball. Thank you Benoit and Soriano together you combined for 46 saves which i. Thank you Lance Cormier, Randy Choate, Chad Qualls, and Dan Wheeler for being my “Horsemen of the Apocalypse” during the 2010 season. Truly, I have never feared for a team’s success more than every time you were summoned from the bullpen.  Every night I had no idea which one of you was going to get the out or ruin the game entirely. I will sleep better knowing that you will be haunting someone else’s bullpen next year.  I’m thankful for Grant Balfour who started the year off as a horseman, but with the arrival of Qualls picked up his game and became the missing key 7th inning guy who teamed up with Benoit and Soriano to create a deadly one-two-three game-ending combo. I’m also very thankful for Andy Sonnanstine the quiet sleeper in the bullpen. He is the team’s extra-innings pitcher and back-up starter. He really did a nice job picking up the slack when Niemann and Davis went down mid-season this year. So here is to you Andy Sonnanstine; sincerely, thanks for not screwing up.

Thank you, Joe Maddon for coming up with the plaid fashion during the playoffs. I bought into it, I genuinely like it and I got a bunch of plaid stuff because I think it’s cool. So thank you for A, telling people to wear it, but you and team didn’t during the game where you said you would and B, my friends like to laugh and make jokes about me when I wear it so thank you for another one of your “brilliant” ideas Maddon much like your 2008 campaign for a World Series you hold the team back from going all the way with your incessant bumbling and god awful decisions. Thank you for giving me this job where I can write and make you the lightning rod of my disgust and disdain you mad plaid piping hatter bastard. Why do you do this to us? Why!? I can’t even be whole-heartedly mad at Kelly I mean he’s so bad, but you’re the crazy joker who put him in there!

Last, but certainly not last, I’m really thankful for Tropicana Field. I honestly believe it’s a decent stadium, but the stadium was never really the problem was it? It’s closed roof and crazy catwalks distract me and make me forget it’s in a god awful location. So here is to you Tropicana Field for making all of us forget that if you don’t like how it looks inside you don’t want to see what is outside. I’m mean you all know my beef with the stadium being located in St. Pete, but my god the stadium isn’t even located by the beautiful water front the town has to offer.

Anyway you might mistake my thanksgiving comments as sarcastic and funny. Well actually I’m dead serious. I am grateful for the Rays being a small town team that has captured my fanaticism and loyalty. For those of you think that this is too personal and it’s more of whining and complaining then I will share with you my family motto, “I get up every day to work an honest job, I obey the law, I pay my bills and taxes on time. I can complain about whatever I damn well please.” As such, the Rays organization cannot have all these playoff runs and successful winning seasons and not expect the fans to want even more so get the job done Rays. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!