Casting the Rays as Star Wars Characters

By Mat Germain
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Sep 29, 2015; St. Petersburg, FL, USA; Tampa Bay Rays third baseman

Evan Longoria

(3) throws the ball against the Miami Marlins at Tropicana Field. Mandatory Credit: Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

Casting Rays Star Wars: Evan Longoria as Han Solo

He’s been through the dirt longer than Skywalker (Archer) and he’s earned his stripes. Like Han, he doesn’t get paid nearly enough for the work he does, and he’s always trying to help right the ship.

As a regular Dirtbag in baseball, he also matches Solo who’s pretty much a Dirtbag in the galaxy. I’m not sure if Longo has any debts owing, but if he does the Rays are in trouble when he gets frozen. Hopefully Archer’ll come to the rescue.

There’s no Princess Leia in this story since this isn’t Shakespeare and we don’t cast boys as girls, but with Longo as Solo, you know who has to be Chewy…

Next: Next Up, Chewbacca