Rays: Top Six Slapdicks in Sports History

Before we proceed, we need to make sure we all know the meaning of the term “slapdick.”

What’s a Slapdick?

According to UrbanDictionary.com, a “slapdick” is:

"slapdick slap dick- one for whom even the simplest task represents a monumental challenge. One who is forced to re-learn all tasks on a daily basis due to exceedingly low intellect. When Evan confessed he [accidentally] scalded himself in the shower every morning he was instantly recognized as a total slap dick. by JPMcTeague September 01, 2003"

Take my word for it, the website has many entries and some of them are horribly crude. I chose this one because I felt it portrayed the meaning without being overly sophomoric or R-rated.

Slapdick is a term for people who have no idea as to what they are doing or make air-headed mistakes. They are more-or-less, stupid idiots. They could be stuck in a permanent state of slapdickiness or having momentary lapses into slap-dickery. So now that we know what a slapdick is… Let’s take a look (through our Rays colored glasses) at just who made the list of our top six slapdicks in sports!

Slapdick #6 – Steven Souza Jr. (Rays)

May 26th, 2017 Kennys Vargas ripped a single to right-center in a game against the Rays. Steven Souza Jr., ever the hustler, must have been running so hard he momentarily lost blood flow to his eyeballs as he dove in an attempt to make a spectacular catch. Unfortunately, he needed to get about 23 more feet on the dive (according to Statcast) to get to the ball. He literally came up 23 feet short in one of the Rays’ greatest slapdick moments.

https://twitter.com/RaysBaseball/status/868312887965745152

Souza checked with Statcast on Twitter to get the official reading. Statcast continued the fun by supplying this response:

Congratulations to Steven Souza Jr. he is our #6 Slapdick.