The Tampa Bay Rays are selling cardboard cutouts of fans willing to pay the price. The cutouts will have fans’ faces printed on them and placed in the stands during games.
Tampa Bay Rays fans, do you still want to be a part of this historical 2020 season as the Rays pursue their first World Series Championship in franchise history? Well, you may not be allowed to attend the games in person but you can at least have your mug slapped onto a cardboard cutout and potentially (if you are lucky) have its head taken off by a foul ball, or even better, a home run.
While the highly contagious virus spreads faster than microwaved butter over top of your chocolate ice cream, the team just can’t risk bringing fans in until the butter is hardened. When the season opens, there will be no real fans in the stadium, and unless we can start getting this under control, it will probably remain that way.
We have to harden the butter, people!
While you may not be there to catch a walk-off homer by Willy Adames to clinch the division. You may be able to tell your grandkids that you had a hole punctured straight through your mid-section by the home run that put the Rays up two games to one in the ALDS.
I think this is a fantastic idea. I’ve lobbied for it in previous articles, along with other stipulations such as playing music during at-bats and having the majority owner of the worst team in the league getting his head shaved by commissioner Rob Manfred.
Some of those ideas were just sacrificial bargaining chips…
Just so you don’t take my idea, I’m probably going to purchase one of me where I’m looking down at my phone. That way, every time something great happens the camera can pan back to me and the announcers can ridicule me for being so addicted to my phone that I’m not enjoying the great baseball action happening right in front of me.
There are some rules that go along with these cutouts. You can’t use them for advertisements or political persuasions. They can’t be mean. They reserve the right to remove your cutout during the game should it become unruly.
Season ticket holders will pay $40 while regular peasants will be charged $60.
To find out more information about having a cardboard copy of yourself at the games, click here.
You can read over the rules and even purchase yourself a cardboard version of yourself!